Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Just An Update Here

Hey there! It's been awhile since I made a decent post, so I thought I'd type something up real quick. I swear that once I really get down to business and have my computer fixed I'll start making useful/funny posts, but until then this is just going to make sure I KEEP POSTING because if I stop for too long this blog will die just like all of the others in the past. I've been trying so hard to keep it updated that all of these posts have seemed pretty useless and rushed, mostly blathering uselessly. I'm afraid this one won't be much different, since I have no idea what I'm about to write, just like all the other times.

First of all, I've actually had quite a bit to write about lately and I wish I had been able to keep up! I suppose the one big thing are the two little things snuggling against my neck right now. Kittens! So far they are unnamed, but I found two little guys under my house a few weeks ago. It was a challenge to get them out of there, and at first they were very angry with me to say the least. I felt awful for taking them from their mother, but I knew they would suffer if left alone. My goal had been to get all four of the kittens and their mommy in one go, but two of the kittens and the momma have moved. I'm happy I was able to save the two I did find.

One is black and the other is grey and striped. Already the little black one has a home with a friend of my boyfriend, but the grey one is still alone... I wish we could keep him, but my grandmother is terribly against it. It's her home, so I have no right to argue, though I keep trying to trick her into being around the little guy in hopes that she'll fall in love with him. So far, I think I've been a little successful, but she's still against the idea.

Also, I've been getting ready for a local convention that I'm very excited for. This is the first time I've been able to go all-out with Cj. We got a hotel, reserved our tickets, the whole nine yards. I'm so excited!! We are going as Miguel and Tolio from The Road to El Dorado. Of course, since it is a four-day convention I'll also get plenty of chances for my Kigurumi Panda and some decora.

I would usually also throw Lolita on for at least one day, but lately I've been a bit jaded. It seems like every time I get one dress, everyone else I know ends up getting four. It's not like I'm competing, but I just don't have the diversity I wish I could have. For instance; I do not have a single patterned dress. It's not that I never wanted one, but they are just too expensive for me! Even if I did have the money, since I grew up in a lower middle-class home, it's really hard for me to spend that sort of money!

Cj can attest to this. In fact, this weekend there is a fair nearby us, and he wants to go ride the rides. I said he could go ahead, but it's too pricey for me even if he DID offer to buy my tickets! I simply can NOT justify those sorts of prices! A dollar per ticket, and then four tickets to ride a single ride? No, no, no! I can't DO it!! Haha. Every purchase I make, even ones I need, has to be carefully thought out and justified. Sometimes the justification is something along the lines of 'I deserve to splurge a little!', but even then... It's hard for me to use that on anything more then twenty dollars. Even books, which I love, are sacrificed to my frugality. Manga, for instance. I can love a series to death, but how can I spend ten entire dollars on a book I'll finish in under a half-hour!? That's too little for too much!

You see, I'm so cheap! It's probably something I need to get over, but I think it's a good trait more often than a bad one.

But it really hurts the diversity of my Lolita outfits. . .

Well, I think that's enough to keep this bloggy alive for now. I'll try to update with pictures after the convention. 

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

D-d-d-d-d-down With The Sickness!

Oh goodness I have such blog envy.

I need to make mine prettier. Honestly, this is sad. I really need to find a camera and get a nice picture and make a header... Put up a nice background, something not so boring... Oh goodness, what a battle!

Anyway, none of that for right now. I've been really insanely sick for the past four days, and it's been tough. I was supposed to go camping this weekend with Cj, but we had to leave early because it was too hard for me to breath. I've gotten a bit better, but the mornings are awful. I could list the symptoms, but it's literally a mile long, it's like nothing wants to work the way it's supposed to be!

The worst part about having so many things wrong (besides the pain in the butt it is) is that it doesn't matter what medicine I take. I'll take one medicine for one thing, and then that certain symptom will improve, but the rest stick around. Next I'll take a different sort of medicine, and the last thing will come back! It's very frustrating.

The only thing that's made my day better is that I have the most amazing boyfriend. I had muted my phone last night when I went to work (I was called in last-second), and passed out the minute I got home. I forgot to turn my phone back on, and slept until noon. When I woke up I was coughing and hacking. I felt (and looked) really horribly yucky, but there was Cj in my kitchen, offering me some tea and hugs.

He also kept tricking me into kissing him, which is cute even though he's sneaky!

I love that boy.

I really hope I get better soon, because I have a lot to look forward to this weekend. I was hoping to go to the drive-in with Cj to see two movies we both want to watch very badly, and then my best friend is throwing a Lolita Day celebration on Saturday. I feel so gross, but I haven't seen her in a long while, and I haven't had a chance to wear my sweet lolita dress in years, and that's the one I picked... (Because unfortunately I couldn't afford a new one at this time).

I've attempted a few at-home remedies that were very helpful. When I had post-nasal drip two days ago, I was in so much pain I started crying. I was so desperate I tried a DIY cure that involved snorting a mixture of water with a tiny amount of baking soda and salt. It was gross, oh so gross... Oh so very, VERY gross... But it worked magic! The pain was gone within twenty minutes, and it's stayed away. I still have all of the other issues, but they are tolerable compared to that pain.

I'm still trying to work off this sickness as best as I can. Most of all because this might be my last weekend where I'll have free time. Next week I have my first official day of work. If you remember about eighteen sentences back, I said I was called into work, but that was out of necessity. I technically still haven't had my orientation, but I was needed and no one else could come in. Mostly I just stayed in the back and helped clean up because the store was so busy. It was a holiday, so I wasn't surprised. Anyway, I'm very excited to start working, because it's my first step to everything I want for myself in the future.

I want to move out and have my own space, more than just one room. I can't wait to have an entire house to myself (and Cj, of course!). Before that, there are a few little splurges I'm looking forward to. I have a list of so many things I'd like. There are a few expensive things; a lolita dress, a new camera, circle lenses... But mostly it's the little things I'm looking forward to. Being able to buy things for small crafts, and makeup whenever I want it without having to scrimp and save. I mean, I won't just spend all of my money like it's nothing, but a few things here and there would be nice, as long as I'm still saving up.

Well, I suppose I should wrap up my ramblings and attempt sleep. It will be difficult, since I slept so late today and then didn't do much activity-wise because I'm sickyface, but I should at least make an honest attempt. Night night!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Things My Cat Does: Volume One

These are just some things my beautiful kitty-cat, Sammy, does on a regular basis. Besides derping, which he is totally doing in the picture above.

1. Sleeps beside me with his head turned upside down and belly presented. That's how I know he'll be there for the rest of the night. He looks comfortable, but when I try it it just really hurts my neck.

2. Snores. Snores like you wouldn't believe. I'll wake up at night and think that Cj is sleeping beside me, but no, it's just Sammy taking some nap times.

3. Follows me downstairs every time I go, but refuses to come back upstairs with me. Seriously, the second my foot hits the hallway he's beside me, but no matter how much I call he doesn't come up until he feels like it.

4. Attacks my pajama bottoms, but only once. If I walk around my house in pajama bottoms, Sammy will jump my leg and bite the bottom, and then immediately run away. It's not often he'll try more than once, even if I stand still.

5. Whenever I open the window beside my bed, he'll jump right up like most cats. However, the window faces the road, and whenever a car drives by he'll jump down and glare at me as if it's my fault that we live in a high-traffic area.

6. Loves my hair accessories more than anything we can shove cat nip into. We buy this cat a toy about every other week, but nothing can compete with my favorite flower hair ties and my spoodles. I don't think I have any spoodles left thanks to this little guy.

7. Drops down in front of where he knows my foot is going to land next. Whenever I walk downstairs, he runs until he is a foot ahead of me and plops right down in my path so that I much adjust my trajectory accordingly. And of course, every time he does this he gives me those big, fat kitty eyes and I have to pet him.

8. Opens his mouth and keeps it open like he's REALLY excited about something. I wish I could catch this move on camera, but it's really hard. It usually lasts between 5-20 seconds, and he'll look like he's happy as a clam. It's adorable.

9. Looks adorable, even when he attacks you. It has something to do with the way his lips look when he's biting into tender flesh, but it is adorable. It almost makes you forget about the immense pain. Almost.

10. Loves when I pets him, but eventually decides that we are playing instead. I can pet him peacefully as can be, but at some point he will almost always decide that I'm actually in the mood for a scuffle and attack my arm like there is no tomorrow.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Writers Block is Keeping Me From Coming Up With a Clever Title

Hello everyone! I know, two posts within a week of each other, my goodness!

To be honest, the only reason I'm writing a post for this right now is because I have complete and total writers block. I have several stories I want to tell, but they are so convoluted and half-thought up that it's impossible to 'start' them. I could write scenes, true enough, but when I start writing one of the scenes I know takes place I suddenly forget everything I was that piece of the story to mean. Writers block is awful. I have a book for of ideas, but nothing inspires me. It doesn't help that I have to sit here on my bed and attempt to write. If I even for a moment actually get absorbed into the story, my back starts to hurt or a pillow falls on my face or something equally silly. I really need to set up a writing area, I've been planing it for some time.

First, I need to move my desk to catch the light better. Then I'll decorate it a bit, and hopefully find a chair that isn't meant for the reject at thanksgiving dinner. I've been debating trying to steal my sisters, because she never uses her desk. I may ask later on.

So, as long as I am stumped as for actual writing, here is what I have been doing lately and what I hope to do soon!

First of all, I've been organizing things. I find it's easier to keep organized if the devices I use to store items are pretty, so that also means decorating. I've been dressing up boxes to hold makeups, and just generally trying to tame the beast that it my bedroom desks. I have two, yes. One basically acts as a makeup area because I share a house with two women and it's impossible to have the bathroom for a long period of time.

Also, I finally got a job! I know, I probably should have listed that first, but heck it didn't occur to me and I don't edit my blog posts like a responsible young lady should. I'm not working at a nice ice cream shop nearby, and I'm not sure if I'm allowed to mention the name so I won't. Not that I would ever say anything bad about this place, they probably have the best ice cream on the planet and some really, really great people work there, but I'm just going to be safe about it. I'm very excited to start and try to make the best impression I can!

I've been trying like hell to find a drive-in that Cj and I can go to so that we can enjoy a nice movie-night. I grew up with drive-in's, and it's one of those things I don't want to forget as I get older. Last year I wasn't able to go to a single one because I had no means to do so (no car), but Cj does have a vehicle in which we can travel in, so I'll finally be able to go again! I really wish we hadn't gone to see Thor last week, because a nearby place is playing Thor and Pirates 4 side-by-side. Two movies is usually the standard, by the way. For anyone who has never been to a drive-in movie, you must. It is probably one of the most authentic, fun, and entertaining summer activities that I've ever had.

Plus, it's basically two movies for the price of one, and you are totally allowed to talk because there's no way you're bothering anyone (except the people in your car)!

Sammy is cuddling in my side right now, hugging my arm. It is quite adorable.

And with that little segway, I'm also actively trying to think of something fun to do to celebrate my birthday. I'm thinking maybe a bonfire would be nice. Smores and hot dogs and lots of little buggies biting my arms. We have a nice big backyard, and it would be fun for me and a few friends to just chill out for a bit. Followed of course by all the girls having a sleepover. Yeah, I'm turning twenty and you'll have to deal with it. I will have slumber parties forever.

Well this blog is a jumbled mess of jumping from topic to topic. Apparently my writing problem isn't going to be solved by writing about my day. Oh well! Have a great day/night (depending on when you're reading this!)!

Saturday, May 14, 2011


As much as I love school, and I do love school, I have really been looking forward to a break. I'm very excited to get things done this summer that will make my life more organized and pretty. Today alone I have rearranged my room, hung up four more pictures (my newest obsession), decorated the boxes that hold my makeup and my brushes, cleaned the entire house and made a list of goals. I have goals for the day, goals for the week, goals for the month an goals for the entire summer!

Yes, I have been a busy little bee.

I'm also going to try to be a more sociable person. I realized lately that I've been quiet and weird as of late with my friends and loved ones, and that doesn't sit well with me. I've always been introverted, but I don't want that to effect my relationships. I think that during the school year I allow myself to get completely absorbed in my schoolwork, which is a good thing, but it is much easier to ignore the social part of my life. Weird, huh? Most people use school to socialize, but I use it to avoid it!

I'm not going to talk about everything on my lists, because some of them are personal and some of them are just boring things I have to get done, but here are a few things that are fun.

I'm going to be saving up money to move in with my boyfriend. We decided a long time ago that we weren't going to move in together unless we had the extra 'emergency' money to back us up. We are saving up 5,000 big ones before we even start looking for an apartment, which is a hefty sum for two college-students. I'm just a paranoid person, so it's more for my comfort than his.

I'm also saving up for a nice video camera, so that I can start a video blog as well as this normal... not-video blog. Plus, Becca and I would like to record our dances with a nice camera for a change.

I have a birthday coming up, but I'm not sure what I am planning. Anyone who knows me well knows that I haven't had the best run with birthday parties. Ever since I turned fourteen they have been god-awful messes, and I don't really like them anymore. I've come to really hate July 24th, with a passion. But... I think maybe going out to see a movie with my boyfriend and then having a sleep over with friends might be cool.

One other goal I have is to lower my 'to-read' list. I have about forty books I want to finish, and really need to get started. Unfortunately, I need to find a way to pay for my high-school stupidity. I used to check out books and not return them for months, if at all, so my charge is ranging on the side of 'high'. How high? I don't remember, but I'm afraid to ask. I think it's a little above a hundred.

So those are my plans for this summer, except I have many more on my list. A lot of them aren't worht mentioning, like filling out my FASFA and getting a copy of my parents tax returns, or buying a new notebook to keep my lists in (the one I have now is running low on free pages).

Right at this moment I'm going to go finish my 'today' list by throwing some laundry into the washer and folding my clean clothes. <3 

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Stressed Out!

It's been a trying week for me. I don't want to get into what's been happening too much, but it has been bad. Nothing life-changing bad, just frustrating and hurtful. It's been made worse by a lack of sleep and a general feeling of hopelessness. I don't meant this in an emo 'pay attention to me' sort of way, but a true hopelessness I need to pull myself out of. I've had a few bright moments. 

For instance, my father brought up how much I've changed in the last two years, and I really have. I'm still me, I still like all the things I used to like, and many new things as well. But I've become more aware of myself and I like taking responsibility more than I used to. It made me feel better, because I remember times in my past I felt much worse than I do now. It's been awhile since I've felt this emotionally pained, but this isn't the worse it's ever been and it will go away. I know it will.

That, and my supportive boyfriend, loving sister and super best friend are the few things keeping me upright. I don't have many people who cheer me on, and it's nice for the first time to have three instead of depending on myself. I'm just going to have to try harder. That's okay. I'm never one to run away from hard work. It's the rejection that hurts, and I'll have to get past that.

We have to move on when are lives, even when things seem hopeless, right? :)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Joker's of the Ocean

The Escapist : Video Galleries : The Big Picture : MovieBob's Junk Drawer

Anyone who knows me knows that I adore MovieBob. He's funny, he does good work, and he has a microphone that actually works for his show (you would be surprised how rare this is sometimes.

I know he has a ton of fans already, but I thought I'd share a link to one of his shows because he made a really funny point. (A lot of them, really, but one specifically). I quote:

"How come they've never done one of a killer dolphin? I mean, go look this stuff up. Dolphins pull some seriously nasty stuff in the wild. But everyone assumes they're very friendly because... well... They're always smiling. Except they're NOT always smiling. Their jaws are just kind of shaped that way. Dolphins are basically the Joker's of the ocean!"

Love it.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Creepy Creepy Creeeeepy

So, school has started up again, and I'm finding very little time to sit down and write about my day. On a good note, that doesn't mean I've stopped writing completely. I seem to be writing constantly, whenever I am not in class. It's a pretty good feeling, even if my blog has just been sitting here. Thankfully, no one reads this, so I don't have to worry about making anybody wait. It just means that probably no one will ever read it and I won't gain any sort of following, which isn't so bad. I don't really honestly want to be known as a blogger... It's just something I feel that as a writer, I have to do. An artist has to have an online portfolio to get noticed in this society, and a writer has to have a blog. It's silly, because it doesn't seem like many people are interested in paying for either of these survices, so now us artists are forced to show our work off for free on a regular basis, hoping someone likes it enough to actually ask for something with cash.

I understand that you can't just assume people will want your work, but it's still irritating when I sit in class and hear people talking about blogs being so important to modern writers.

More good news, I have an interview on Tuesday. I am crossing my fingers, though I am pretty frightened at the same time. I have no state ID, and I'm worried that will hurt my chances. I have ordered it, but it will be another two weeks before it arrives. It's rather saddening.

So, on a kookier note, I did get an interesting letter today. From a correctional facility. My grandmother found it first, which was a damn hoot, let me tell you. She hovered over my shoulder while I read the letter from a 24-year-old convict (who just go in there for speeding), asking me to be a pen-pal. Apparently someone told him that I would like him. He is apparently '170 pounds of solid muskilz', and wants a girl to write to 'not looking for anything more than friends unless it turns out to be more', it is signed 'sweet dreams beautiful' and has pleanty of flowers on fire and barbed wire framing the page... UGH. I'm so creeped out I don't think I'll be able to sleep.

I can only assume this is some sort of scam or a scary rapists-type character. I don't give out my address online, so maybe someone I know did tell him, but I can't think who would. I have knots in my belly.

I hope it's a scam. . .

So that is currently what is running through my mind. I'm keeping the letter, if not for anything else but 'exhibit A' in case I need to file a restraining order. I suppose there is a chance that this really is just a poor guy with four months left in this convectional facility that could use a friend, but honestly I doubt it. I think he's looking for something, or is really messed up in some way. I have had my experience with messed-up guys, and I don't want to deal with another one, even if he's lonely and bored.

UGH. *Shiver*

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Box Art; Shmox Art

Fatal Frame Faux Pas
I'm going to just hop right into this one and see where it takes me. I have a huge problem with the box art of most video games in America. It seems that rather than hiring an artist from the department that made the game, the publishers decide to just get on Photoshop and play around with the faces and filter tools until they come up with the lamest, most ridiculous covers imaginable. Looking above at the example of Fatal Frame, one of my favorite games of all time, and you'll see my meaning. Calling it box art is generous. It seems like this portion of the game is mostly neglected, as if it were thrown together fix minutes before printing. Granted, there are some exceptions to this rule, but they are very few and much too far between.
And then we move on to the point of this article. My boyfriend and I were ecstatic when we heard the Amnesia: The Dark Descent was coming out with a retail box release. We both make a habit of actually wanting to possess the game in a physical sense. Digital copies are fine, but really we'd rather have something to have and to hold. Much like marriage, buying a video game is a sacred institution that we feel must be respected. Plus, I'm a horrifyingly paranoid person and I don't trust technology to not throw away things I worked and/or paid for. Many computer break-downs have confirmed that this fear is a correct and valid one. In sum, I want to be able to hold the things I buy.
When I first looked up the box art for Amnesia: The Dark Decent, I was extremely excited by how artfully done it was. A single rose sitting in an ethereal light while darkness creeps around behind it. While it may not have told me much about the game, I still enjoyed the artistic value of the box art.
Not bad, Fictional
For those who haven't played or heard about the game, Amnesia is a very special type of horror game. It's the horror we all had figured had died and been buried after Silent Hill 2. There are really two types of horror in video games. The first type is the kind we see in Dead Space and Resident Evil, or the 'BOO ARE YOU SCARED' type. The horror is very upfront with disturbing imagery jumping right into your face. It uses startling events, like monsters jumping out from behind you and loud noises in quiet rooms, and relies a lot on action/fighting. The second type is much harder to pull off, we see it in Silent Hill and Fatal Frame, it's the 'Subtle but I Pissed My Pants' type. This is where Amnesia: The Dark Descent falls. Subtly is key in these games. You barely see the monsters, and you can not fight back. Action barely exists in this type of game, besides the running and hiding. The scariest part of this game is truly that you are completely vulnerable, and that you can't even see what is after you. Nothing they show you can be half as terrifying as what your mind creates for you. For the record, I think both of these horror types have their merits, but the second type is so hard to pull off and the first type is so easy, it's no wonder BOO ARE YOU SCARED is so much easier to find on the shelves.
No game pulls this off quite as well as Amnesia. I literally played the demo for three minutes, fourteen seconds before I screamed and pushed the wheeled chair into the wall (and my boyfriend laughed at me so hard that his face turned red). I didn't see the monster, or die, or anything that would warrant a scream in your usual horror game. What happened? I door flew open. All. By. Itself. And I nearly peed myself.
So lets just sum it up as a damn scary game. So I was excited to finally own it myself, even though I had read about it to the point that I knew every plot point and surprise it contained, which is what I always do when I become interested in a game (Go on, quiz me on the zombies in Left 4 Dead. I know them all). But even though it came out February 22nd, it has yet to be carried in any of the video game stores near us, and we checked them all. The nearest GameStop that had it is reportedly somewhere in Texas, which is a bit of a drive for us here in Maine. So finally, we went to the last resort and went to to order it. And that's when I saw this monstrosity. Apparently, we who want to own the hard copy of Amnesia don't deserve the well-thought out artistic version of the cover. We get this.
Oh God.... Ugh... Eeew... ACK!!!
… WHAT THE HELL THQ? What is this?! Is that Scrooge McDuck gone awry, after going insane and ripping off his clothes? That's what my first impression was, for sure. You people are cruel, and stupid as hell. Why would anyone buy this, without already knowing how awesome the game is? I know I'm not the only one upset, because while looking for the release date of the retail box (for the above paragraph, I'm fairly short-minded), I found several threads dedicated completely to cursing the box 'art' to hell.
The worse part is, that's not even what the monster in the game actually looks like. Here's the thing; the monster in Amnesia is not often on-camera, and when he is you are often fleeing from him. This is a good thing, because the monster is quite... derpy. People, he is filled with herp with a happy layer of derp on top.
That monster is not scary. And the monster representing him on the box art isn't, either. If Amnesia: The Dark Descent were the first type of horror game where you could defend yourself and had to do more than turn tale and run whenever you see one of these guys, it would probably be one of the most unintentionally hilarious games on the market. I mean, I giggle whenever I look at that guy. Realistically, there has to be a lot of drool involved with this monster, as he obviously can not close that oversized mouth of his. And he is so cross-eyed, if he ever cried the tears would roll down his back. Then again, maybe that's how the monster finds you so easily in the darkness. He's looking two directions at once.
The point I am trying to make here is that just because you have a horror game involving monsters does not mean you have to put the monster on the cover, especially if the monster need to be turned into a scary duck to seem morefrightening. And for the record, to all box artists: THE BLUR TOOL IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. I hate that people can't seem to put together good box art for good games. I mean, there are some great ones out there. To prove my point, here are some rather good ones.
Awesome ShockRed Dead AwesomeShadow of the Freakin' Sweet
Bioshock, Red Dead Redemption, and Shadow of the Colossus. All freaking awesome games, all with really wonderful, informative and engaging box art. You pick up any of these, and you have a pretty good idea what the game is going to be about. Maybe not a complete storyline prepared in your head (if that were the case, the game would really suck), but a general genre and feeling of the game comes across. These truly deserve to be called box art. The others? The kind that copy and paste characters heads and overuse filter tools? Those are box monstrosities. 

Update on Not Updating

Hey guys! I know I promised an update on the whole teacher vs. common morality and such, but I am SWAMPED with homework since spring break is over, and honestly I don't have the time or energy to write a proper response to my meeting quite yet. It will happen, but until then, I'm going to re-post a few blogs that I had on tumblr that I really enjoyed and want to be here. :3 So look forward to those. One is coming at you right after I post this, so give it a read! Very geeky and video-game oriented. Haha. 

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Reacting to Asshat Teachers

Two weeks ago, I had a very negative encounter with my Creative Writing teacher. I will repost the blog that I wrote then (at that time I wrote it on tumblr before getting this new blogspot account).

Yesterday night, I was so offended I had to walk out of my Creative Writing class. For the record, I love this class. The teacher can be pretentious and rude, but that’s what you can expect from some teachers. You can’t mention a single book or movie without him saying it was overrated, and he picks on one kid who can’t speak English well so often that it upsets me, but it’s not like these things are that bad. The Turkish student takes it in stride, and Family Guy is overrated (even if I can quote every episode), so whatever. He just wants the kids to like him, and it works. It’s not like that is a crime. But yesterday he crossed the border between ‘Fun Teacher Who is Trying to Hard’ into ‘Offensive Jackass’ so quickly it made my head spin.
This may be a bit long, even though the whole scene took about five minutes. I entered class at 4:30, expecting to stay until 7:30 as usual. I left at 4:45, if even that late, because I couldn’t handle the inconsiderate jerk teaching.
The teacher, who will remain unnamed in this blog regardless of how I feel about him, walked into and started class as usual. He took the attendance, joked around with the boys in the class. When he finished, he said something along the lines of “I need your guys opinions. I’m writing a column, let’s talk about Japan.” I am too optimistic, even though I know this is one of those teachers that like to be ‘cool’, I thought we’d actually talk about it and started thinking about what I knew. It’s a mix of a lot and a little because I have friends over there and have been following what’s been going on because of that, but also have a weak stomach so haven’t looked at articles with pictures (which is pathetic, I know). Then he immediately laughed and asked “Is it too early to make Godzilla jokes?”
I was extremely firm and looked right at him and said “Yes” pretty damn loudly, because I’m f*cking sick of that goddamn joke. I’ve already removed three friends from facebook for that one, and I told him that, too. He ignored me. He also ignored the other five people who said it wasn’t okay as well. Someone goaded him, and said something along the lines of if people were still offended, then it was okay to make that joke. Because God forbid you wait a nice month or so for when Japan has recovered and people are all accounted for (like the people I care about who I haven’t heard from yet).
That is when I started shaking and packing up. I’m in the front row, so he saw me, but kept making joke after joke with some of the more ass-kissing students. What would they call it? Godzilla v. Tsunami? And they were laughing like nothing else. Finally I slammed my homework down in front of him and started leaving the room. He LAUGHED even more and said “See! Richardson is so pissed she’s leaving!” I was in tears and snapped back that I have family and friends in Japan (which is true), he laughed once more and said “okay” as if he were humoring me, and I slammed the door and immediately called a good friend because I was having a mini-breakdown.
I am disgusted at the teachers actions. I understand ‘Art needs to be Controversial’, though I don’t believe that. However, it had been four days. People are still missing. People I know and care about still haven’t been able to be contacted. Japan will make it through this, obviously. They were prepared. The fact that in a country with 127,560,000 people only lost around 10,000 in this disaster is proof of that. The entire country was built to deal with this sort of situation. They’ll be back on their feet soon enough… But we aren’t at that point yet. And we certainly aren’t at the point where it’s okay to make these sorts of jokes. For some reason, it hurt less when I was reading them on the internet. When a friend wrote them, I would just leave a comment telling them that it was offensive and I was un-friending them. When a stranger wrote them, I just ignored them and continued on (with a bit of my faith in the human race leaving with them).
But when a teacher, who I am paying money to learn from, makes those sorts of jokes even after being asked to stop, and then insults a person when they leave the room because they are so disgusted by his actions, makes these sorts of jokes, it crosses a very thick line. I have a tolerance for jack asses, you have to to function in our society, but I guess this time it hit much too close to home. My boyfriend put it well, saying ‘If someone had made a crack like that four days after 9/11, we would have kicked his ass.”
The worst part of this entire story is that it didn’t just end there. I know from a friend who stayed in that class that he had to defend me for a half-hour after I left, which means that he didn’t stop. I was hoping at least after I left that he would be shamed into acting like an adult, but that wasn’t the case. I still am not sure how I should react to this, but I better figure out before next Monday, because I have his class and at the moment I don’t think I can even look at him without feeling a sense of unbridled rage in my heart.”

Since that day, some things have happened. I wrote the the head of out English department to set up a meeting. However, because this week has been Spring Break for my college, I will finally be meeting him this Monday. I’ve had some people, including a family member, tell me that it won’t be worth it and I’ll just be patronized during the meeting, but I hope that isn’t the case. I’ve also been told that I’m overreacting… Which really hurts because I feel as though I’m still in the right, even weeks later. I am trying to be as polite as possible after this event so that no one can question my character in all of this. I just want teachers to act respectable, especially when they are speaking about recently lost and destroyed lives.

However, now that two weeks have passed I am starting to believe that the head of the English department will just say I'm overreacting, and nothing will be done about this. Worse yet, I fear going back to class and being mocked by the teacher. You see, this teacher is very rude to lots of people. He spoke of me after I had left the class, which is grossly inappropriate, and I know he won't be too 'nice' to make fun of me to my face.

If he does, I'm not sure what I will do.

I might freak out, I might cry, I might throw books across the room. Honestly, I just can't even guess. I'm going to speak the the supervisor about this, as well, and hope that he will speak to my teacher about not acting like a dick to my face.

All I know is that if he makes another crack about Japan, I will scream at him. I won't walk quietly out of the room, I will yell. It's not right to make fun of someones suffering that way, and yet in our society it happens all the time. I don't even know where to put the blame anymore, because the jokes are everywhere. Maybe it is just the way people 'cope', but that wasn't the case here. My teacher was purposefully pushing buttons to stay relevant, and because of that I will never forgive him. I will write on Monday about exactly what happened.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Bioware Neglected Their Main Demographic: The Whiny Homophobes

Hey guys! I posted this sooner than I expected, so here it is a little early. I just want to call out how ridiculous this 'Straight Male Gamer' is. He posted on he Bioware forum, complaining that he and all other straight, male gamers were overlooked in the latest Dragon Age installment. The thread already has one amazing reply from the games lead writer, so you should go and read that. He makes several amazing points. However, as a 'female gamer', I was grossly offended and needed to write on it. 

The original thread can be found here, with a wonderful response from David Gaider, the lead writer of Dragon Age II.

So let's begin. The bold words are my responses:

To summarize, in the case of Dragon Age 2, BioWare neglected their main demographic: The Straight Male Gamer. 

Well, this isn't going to be good, is it? Let's get to reading...

I don't think many would argue with the fact that the overwhelming majority of RPG gamers are indeed straight and male. Sure, there are a substantial amount of women who play video games, but they're usually gamers who play games like The Sims, rather than games like Dragon Age. That's not to say there isn't a significant number of women who play Dragon Age and that BioWare should forego the option of playing as a women altogether, but there should have been much more focus in on making sure us male gamers were happy. 

Women only play 'The Sims'? We aren't off to a great start, are we? I hate The Sims, and I can promise you I can list ten girls off the top of my head right now who are friends of mine who play real games, mostly RPGS. I play RPGs, it's my favorite type of game. So I suppose I don't count in this guys version of what being a 'gamer' means. That's cool, I guess girls don't come to any STRAIGHT MALE GAMERS mind when they think of video games, but that's something that we have to fix.

'Making sure us male gamers were happy' is another problem here. That sounds ridiculously sexists. Boys get priority over girls because... they are boys. That is his argument here, and it is extremely upsetting. It's complete bullshit, really. Why should a game company cast aside an entire category of gamers just because they are the minority? Thoughts like that are why there are so few female gamers. Because men treat it like a boys club that we aren't allowed to be apart of. That's half of a population being alienated, not spending money on games, because boys like this think girls don't belong in the 'gamers' category.

Now immediately I'm sure that some male gamers are going to be like "YOU DON'T SPEAK FOR ME! I LOVE DRAGON AGE 2!", but you have to understand, the Straight Male Gamer, cannot be just lumped into a single category. Its ridiculous that I even have to use a term like Straight Male Gamer, when in the past I would only have to say fans, but it is as if when the designers were deciding on how to use their limited resources, instead of thinking "We have fans who loved Alistair and we have fans who thought Alistair was annoying. We have fans that thought Morrigan was great and we have fans that thought that she was a ****. And we have fans who liked the combat and we have fans who hated the combat but liked the story. How do we make make all these groups happy?" Instead, it is as if they went "We have straight males, straight females, gays and lesbians. How do we make all these groups happy?" 

So rather than speaking for 'Straight Male Gamers' (which you already were failing at. My boyfriend in a straight, male gamer, and he denied relating to anything you are saying), you should be speaking for 'All Fans'. But dammit, us girls are ruining it for you, because WE ARE FANS TOO, as well as homosexuals. Also, I'm sure that the design team was trying to make everyone happy. For instance, the new Black Emporium. They noticed that fans download a mod in the first game to reclassify all of their attributes, and put a system in the second game to let them do that. In fact, Dragon Age II is one of the first games where I noticed enough positive changes in the second game that were exactly what fans asked for. I'm not saying it's perfect, but they were trying, and just because they weren't specifically serving the majority entirely and completely neglecting the minority doesn't mean they didn't care. They tried to let everyone enjoy their games.

In every previous BioWare game, I always felt that almost every companion in the game was designed for the male gamer in mind. Every female love interest was always written as a male friend type support character. In Dragon Age 2, I felt like most of the companions were designed to appeal to other groups foremost, Anders and Fenris for gays and Aveline for women given the lack of strong women in games, and that for the straight male gamer, a secondary concern. It makes things very awkward when your male companions keep making passes at you. The fact that a "No Homosexuality" option, which could have been easily implemented, is omitted just proves my point. I know there are some straight male gamers out there who did not mind it at and I respect that. 

Okay... So the only female love interest have to be a friend-type suport character. That's fun. He neglected to mention that Aveline is an option for a male love interest. Because if she has a backbone, she's obviously a dyke or completely unavailable to men in some way. And why do you NEED a 'no homosexuality' option? Can't you just click on the other options like everyone else? If the gay people can avoid getting into a straight relationship in the game, you should be able to avoid getting into a gay one. This entire paragraph comes off as 'homophobic' to me. God forbid he even have to deal with a gay man in his game. All of his characters must be STRAIGHT. All of his female characters have to be SUBSERVIANT. Otherwise, he is not getting what he wants and he will damn well complain about in on the internet like the entitled jackass he is.

When I say BioWare neglected The Straight Male Gamer, I don't mean that they ignored male gamers. The romance options, Isabella and Merrill
(And Aveline, but fuck her she is strong and I need a helpless little princess or a whore), were clearly designed for the straight male gamers in mind. Unfortunately, those choices are what one would call "exotic" choices. They appeal to a subset of male gamers and while its true you can't make a romance option everyone will love, with Isabella and Merrill it seems like they weren't even going for an option most males will like. And the fact is, they could have. They had the resources to add another romance option, but instead chose to implement a gay romance with Anders. 

Merrill is adorable, for the record. I may make a male to have a relationship with her. But anyway, that is besides the point. I'd like this boy to point out an example of what 'straight male gamers' are attracted to. I honestly think he just wants a girl like Princess Freakin' Peach to be implimented. Unbelievable, unattainable, and unrealistic. He even gets dangerously close to racism here with the 'exotic' play. Isabella is dark-skinned, and Merrill has an Irish accent. How dare they not have a white American girl for you? I mean, a white, American, subservient girl who won't talk back or fight or anything. And wow what a waste of time putting a romance with Anders (which is my favorite character, so he not only appeals to 'THE GAYS', but also 'THE WOMEN'.

I'm certain that some will declare "That's only fair!" but lets be honest. I'll be generous and assume that 5% of all Dragon Age 2 players are actually homosexuals. I'll be even more generous and assume that the Anders romance was liked by every homosexual. Are you really telling me that you could not have written another straight romance that would have pleased more than 5% of your fans? 

Wow, nice statistics there. Guessing, but since you put numbers into your guesses, that make it intellectual. This guy obviously knows what he's talking about! There are percentages! I mean, he made them up, but.... but.... NUMBERS!

Dragon Age 2 did have its faults no doubt, objectively; combat that was fun initially but quickly got tedious as a result of constantly respawing enemies and too many random encounters, not so well disguised re-used environments, a flawed equipment system in which most of the loot you got could not be used. And subjectively, I've seen complaints of the new faster combat, the new dialogue wheel and so forth. But truth to be told, I wasn't happy with every single aspect of Origins either, but still I loved that game. The gameplay elements are only a part of an RPG, theres the story and characters that drive it. If the same amount focus and attention to characters were given for me as there was in Origins, I'm sure that even with all those technical flaws, I would have found Dragon Age 2 a good game, a flawed game, but still good. As it stands right now, with mediocre characters and mediocre gameplay, Dragon Age 2 is a mediocre game and I'd rate it as such. 

Now he is giving a review on the actual game. Good job throwing more of your opinions in at the end, or we might have all concentrated on the bulk of what was wrong with your previous statements. For the record, most of his opinions are felt be a lot of fans, including those who wrote real, professional reviews. He put in a lot that people would agree with, and I think he only did that so they would agree with the entire thread. Bull. The characters were just as in-depth as they were in Origins. I think this guy didn't notice that because he chose not to talk to half the cast for fear that he might see a 'GAAAAAY' option.

David Gaider replied in the last thread stating, "There's a lot of assumption in there, not the least of which is certain amount of privilege (not to mention an assumption that all straight male gamers must like the same thing)". It's odd to me that David realized that not all straight male gamers like the same thing, yet thought it prudent to try to include a cast that would be liked by straight male gamers, straight female gamers, gays and lesbians with a development time of 18 months. I just hope that the next game BioWare will get its priorities right or spend more time making the game. 

For the record, this guys says 'in the last thread' because he posted this rant twice. The first time, everyone pointed out the flaws in his argument. They also pointed out that he came off as a sexists, homophobic prick. He didn't like that, so he posted the same thing again so that this time people would have the chance to agree with him... They didn't. So because David Gaider (the awesome lead writer who I will certainly be following from now on) realizes that he can't please everyone and chose to try to please at least most from all different perspectives, both the majority and the minority, he's not doing his job. He should try to please only the majority. Good thinking.

Despite my opinions I fully respect the opinions of those who disagree with me so please let’s agree to disagree in a respectful manner and not let this descend into personal attacks. I respectfully request that the moderators simply remove the trouble makers and trolls who make inflammatory comments rather than locking the entire thread because that’s what the trolls want. Thank you. 

This is the cream on the cake. After he rants and raves like a spoiled child for paragraphs upon paragraphs, he talks about being respectful and how they are just 'opinions' so that no one can call him out on all of the ridiculous whiny nature of his post. As Relient K points out: opinions are immunity from being told you're wrong. (And paper rock and scissors all have their pros and cons)

Sucker Punched!

Hi again! Wow! I fell right to sleep once I got home! I was SO tired, I couldn't keep myself awake! I'm sorry I didn't post like I said I would!

Onto the date!

First off, the hair. Ehhhh... Didn't come out too great. Half-way through, I realized I didn't wet it first!! I suck at hair stuff, but wow... So the ends curled, but not much else. I decided that was okay, since I'm learning and I wasn't trying to go for full-out Lolita.

I wore a Lolita skirt and the headdress, but honestly I wasn't aiming at Lolita, not even casual. It's too casual to even be Casual Lolita. I wore a cute shirt I got for my birthday, the only Lolita skirt I own (I have two dresses, but only one two-piece outfit. This one is from my newest Wa-Lolita outfit I bought), some fishnets I bought for a Columbia cosplay, and my favorite pair of shoes. Simple, black, with a tiny little bow on them. I wish I could share pictures, but my family's old computer does not have a flash drive port and I don't have the right cables right now to connect the entire computer.

Now, onto the movie!

Sucker Punch certainly lived up to it's name! My favorite activity while watching movies is the guess what will happen at the end in the first fifteen minutes. My boyfriend can testify that I am almost ALWAYS right. That's the great thing about being a writer. I've read a lot, watched a lot, and played a lot, all while learning how story structure works.

At the end of the movie, I was right with my first few guesses, but I questioned myself a few times, and there was one part I didn't guess at all, so WAM! Sucker punch! It's a movie that you'll want to watch twice, because you want to understand every aspect. Cj and I spent the entire ride home asking questions to one another and figuring out little 'secrets'. :) It was fun.

Also, the outfits were gorgeous. I want to cosplay as Baby Doll, and I can't even decide which outfit I'd chose! There is one silly part where they sort of just... bedazzled her school uniform, which me and Cj giggled at, but even that was still pretty cute.

The characters were likable and well-developed. The fight scenes were INTENSE, so much so that even I got into them when I usually roll my eyes at that sort of thing.

Like I predicted, there is a lot taken from anime and manga, especially in those fight scenes, but it is not the copy+paste I thought it would be, and it's done in such a way that I don't feel cheated or tricked somehow, and I definitely enjoyed the experience.

If you are going to go out to see a movie, Sucker Punch is definitely one you should spend the eight bucks on. <3

But MovieBob puts it much better than me in his review.

On another note, I am getting my computer back on Monday, hopefully! It's been a whole, big, frustrating deal, but it's coming back fixed and purple and hopefully with all of my hard work still in-tact. I have a lot of half-finished stories on that hard drive I couldn't save in time.

So I'm going to wait until then to customize the blog. This computer is much, much too slow to use.

Tomorrow, I'm going to write my response to 'Bioware Neglected Their Main Demographic: The Straight Male Gamer'. As an avid Bioware fan (despite some of their faults), I feel that I should put in my two cents. Guess what? You'll find my two cents add up to that young man being an entitled, sexist, homophobic jerk. But I'll put it in much more eloquent terms than that. 

Friday, March 25, 2011

Greetings From The World of... Today!

It's currently nine in the morning, and I have a date with my amazing boyfriend, Cj, at 11. We are going to go see the movie 'Sucker Punch'. I'm not exactly sure what sort of expectations I have.

When I first saw the poster at the movie theater, I laughed and called Cj over to chuckle at how stupid Hollywood thinks we are. The poster is obviously pandering to the male libido and doesn't really care if us girls are interested or not. But then, I saw the commercials. Now I am intrigued.

It almost looks like a bunch of anime thrown together and dragged into real life. Quite literally. I'm predicting people everywhere will praise it for being so 'original' and 'innovative'. You know, the same way they do about Lady Gaga's fashion style. It's so new! … Well yeah, maybe to YOU. But still, I'm looking forward to something good.

I'm hoping it will be worth my optimism.

While my hot sticks are warming, I thought I might as well write a 'first entry'.

I'll try to keep this short. You'll get to know me eventually. ;) For right this moment, here's what I find important.

My name is Brianne. I wish it were something more catchy, but it's not. I can't even shorten it to something cute. My friend Rebecca can shorten hers to 'Becca', her sister is Elizabeth, but she made it 'Betsy'. I was a cute bubbly name like that. The best I got is 'Bri'. Not cute. :( Maybe I should ask Becca's family to help out. Haha.

I'd like to be a writer. I've been writing for most of my life, starting around 8-9 years old when I received my parents huge, old, bulky-ass computer. My dream job is actually publishing books for a living, but given that technology is killing the idea of words on paper... I have a dream of writing for a magazine about something I enjoy.

One of those things is video games. I like video games. A lot. I think they'll be a great medium for storytelling one day. As a writer, that's what I appreciate most in games. Another 'dream job' would being a game writer, or writing for a magazine or website like 'Game Informer' or 'The Escapists'.

I love Japanese fashion (hence the Lady Gaga remark earlier. I like the gal, but come on... She's not the 'first' to dress like that...), especially Lolita fashion. I used to be very into Decora as well, but that was too rich for my blood. Lolita is expensive as well, but at least with Lolita I don't slowly lose accessory after accessory until you have to start from scratch.

I'm growing out my hair. This part is important because I never had long had before. It's always been short, so I don't know how to 'deal' with long hair. Some of my blogs might be about this continuous struggle.

Just a simple hello, and a promise. I will update at least once a week. I will try to write longer blogs, but some of them might be short (like this one).

I'll overuse parentheses (just like I did above... And just now). I'll apologize for that now. But I promise I'll always use proper grammar and spelling, with maybe a 'wtf' or an 'omg' here and there, but I honestly doubt it. There is something very rewarding about writing 'what the fuck' all the way through. :D

When I get home from the movie, first I will write about how it was. The whole date, not just the movie. Then I will spend some time making this blog prettier.

Alright, hot sticks are warmed up now! I'll also post pictures of my hair. :) I'm testing out a new style I saw in The Gothic Lolita Bible, but adding curls to it as well. I'm not dressing Lolita today, just testing the hairstyle.